Home: An Exploration in Thought

I have returned to the place of my birth to watch my little sister get married. It has already been a trip of unimaginable intensity that began before I had even boarded the plane to come here. Pardon my ambiguity, but some things need time to be well thought out and right now too many thoughts are highlighted. So here I sit in a house I've considered a place of comfort for nearly 20 years. Memories are measured on the blue wall downstairs; etched with the tip of a knife and a magic marker documenting our physical growth; summer to summer. There was no way to record our personal growth. But we all grew; my sisters and I, together. Those summers stand on memories of double solitaire,swapping clothes and all things reserved for growing girls. Corbett is the sister who is getting married on Saturday. There is something magical about gathering for a wedding, especially when it is in honor of one so close in heart. Corbett was beaming when she walked in the door tonight. Purity, that is what she is. Those would never be her words; but they are the epitome of this young woman. My older sister Kate, and I are the matron of honor and the maid of honor, respectively. This to me means one thing; we have to give a speech. Seeing as Kate just got done birthing a beautiful baby girl; I have taken it upon myself to put together a string of words meant to do justice to this incredibly healthy, mature relationship Corbett and my soon to be brother-in-law have created. To say that I am mildly concerned would be a bit of an understatement. Excuse me for using this as a sort of filter, if you will. Sorting thoughts and feelings on so many varying emotional levels makes it a little difficult to focus only on the love. I will hopefully encounter the end of this sorting process relatively soon.

It is hard not to be envious in the company of honest love. My older sister has it, my little sister has it now as well. One would think that I am saying this simply because I am related to these people, connected with these relationships. I feel that is particularly why I can say what it is that I am saying. Where marriages today seem to be built on empty vows and temporary love I have watched thunder roll through these two relationships and bring about serious storms. Yet, only the beauty and eloquence remains after the clouds have parted. I am in awe, constant awe of these sisters of mine. It is hard to be surrounded with these incredible relationships and not reflect on one's own success and failures in the matters of the heart. I only hope that one day I can experience the level of completeness Kate and Corbett and their partners feel. Loving can be a beautiful thing and I am showered in the wake of its constant presence while I am back in this far away home of mine.